Who’s Been Stealing My Biscuits?

I’d had some chopped dates hanging about for a week or more and decided it was now time to make them into biscuits. I used a blend of flours, spelt x 2, self-raising x 2, Maize x 1, some milled walnuts and chopped walnuts. I added some baking powder and mixed it all with melted butter and sugar and a little milk, if it looked too dry.

I was worried that the extra baking powder might make them a bit salty, but they turned out lovely. I had been eating them for a few days when I found one on the top of the compost bin outside the door. Hmm. Who could have put that there?

Sue called and brought me two sprouts, two cauliflowers and two cabbages to plant out, so I offered her one. I think she enjoyed it. There were half a dozen left in the tin.

I came back after lunch and found the tin was empty. What?!? Who’s doing this?

I thought of the magpies raising a family in the tree outside, or could it be the pheasants who have been venturing into the garden lately. The door had been open against the heat. I scratched my head, bemused, and decided I must put the lid firmly back on the tin in future.

This morning as I sat in meditation there was an enormous crash from the kitchen. I got up and walked quietly in, to find a squirrel escaping in panic through the window. Mystery solved. I closed the door and the window and resolved to tidy the kitchen so as not to tempt further invasions should the heat prove too much over the weekend.

Anything above about 24 degrees and I begin to suffer. I can’t lose heat from my body since I burned myself in 1974. No pigment layer on the back, just one big scar and the body just keeps gathering heat and can’t lose it. I have to wash myself down with a cold flannel, but when it comes to cooling my back, the cold water feels like knives cutting in to me.

Hohum. I don’t feel any animosity towards the squirrel. How could I? He is hungry. Just quiet amusement and a resolve to be tidier in the future. How likely is that?

Author: Keith Armstrong

Dance teacher, writer, film-maker, educationalist, enthusiast.